There is a Light, and it never goes out
by Duderman
Summary: Cloti. Songfic...kinda. A student has a hard time expressing his feelings for his teacher. He didn't want to go home, he wanted her to take him anywhere, he didn't care where... Oneshot


There is a light, and It never goes out

_**Take me out tonight  
Where theres music and theres people  
And theyre young and alive  
**_

He had come to her door. Her door... his teacher's door.

"… what are you doing here…?" She said. Her words seemed harsh, even to her.

"The festival…" He said, bringing his eyes up to hers, "Would you like to go?"

She couldn't hide the look of surprise, the look of shock that her face must have been shown at those words. His face, however, was calm, collected. Unreadable as ever.

"Now…? It's late… it's… " She paused, trying to find the right words, the words of dismissal, rejection.

"Why?" She blurted out, her words surprised even her. She hadn't meant to say what she had said.

He eyed her for what seemed forever, occasionally looking down at his feet, shuffling about slowly. He looked uncomfortable, as if he didn't belong.

"The people… the music…" He paused, now fixing his eyes on her.

"…the lights… it makes me feel… alive…" He said this last word with conviction. His eyes spoke as convincingly as his lips.

"No… I…" She looked up at him. Beyond his gloomy eyes, his pale face… she thought she saw his hopefulness, his yerning.

"Well…fine… but not for too long…"

She had grabbed her coat and followed him out into the dark streets. She motioned towards her car. Now it was his turn to look surprised. It wasn't a long walk… but it was cold out…

_**Driving in your car  
I never never want to go **__**home**_

_**Because I havent got one  
Anymore**_

It was pooring. The last bell was barely heard over the clattering of rain, the roaring of the wind.

She made her way across the courtyard, her heeled figure clumsily avoiding puddles as she made her way to her car, the umbrella over her head keeping her relatively dry. She had a large bag shouldered around her, she also held various correction sheets and paper pressed against her in her free hand. The weight, along with the roaring wind was intimidating. She had a hard time keeping her balance as he made her way across the parking lot towards her car.

Then there was him.

As she turned the corner to the parking lot, she was able to make out his person, standing a few feet away. He was leaned against a wall, his hands in his pockets. The rain pelting his figure didn't seem to bother him at all. He was soaked.

His eyes met hers before she could look away. She held the gaze as she walked on, her eyes studying his face.

It happened, of course, before she realized it.

Sound; a loud one.

The honking of the passing car's horn was enough to make her jump, dropping her bag, and sending her papers flying all over. She had fallen backwards into an uncomfortable position. She took a minute to recover from the shock. The rain and the wind seemed irrelivant as she opened her eyes, staring down at the papers scattered all over the premises. She heard the sound of footsteps coming from behind her; she knew who it was before she saw him.

He walked slowly towards her. He stopped at her side briefly before holding out his hand. She took it, and he pulled her upright again. He then picked up her umbrella and handed it to her, she took it, not saying a word, unsure of what was going to happen next.

He then picked up her bag, shouldered it and made his way around the area, collecting her rain drenched papers, stacking them up as best he could before returning to her, holding the papers out for her to take.

"Thank you…" She said, taking the papers.

He then followed her to her car, asked for the key, carefully placed her bag in her trunk, and closed it. He then made his way towards the door, unlocked it, and held it open for her. This went beyond all the things he had done up until now. This was clear, his intentions, his feelings were now being shown clearly through actions, rather than words.

"Want a ride?" She asked. She didn't know why she didn't ask him to just leave her alone, she knew what he wanted… and he could never have it.

He simply nodded, closed her door, and got into the passenger's seat.

"So…" She said. "Where can I drop you off…?"

He didn't answer. He hung his head as he always did and seemed to be more likely to be dead than alive.

"Where's your home…?" She asked, beginning to feel more and more uncomfortable. The silence was killing.

"I haven't got one…" He said. A brief pause followed this statement as the words he spoke sunk into her mind, suprising her.

"I live in a place which has little to offer for me, a one of those things is definatly not a home."

She proceeded to drop him off in a shabby looking neighborhood. He thanked her, and briefly remained seated, as though wanting to say more. He simply brushed his hand to hers slightly, slowly. This touch was enough to send a jolt through her body.

After his door closed, she heard nothing for the longest time. She closed her eyes and simply sat there, not relaxed… but dazzed, tired.

_**  
**_

_**Take me out tonight  
Because I want to see people and i  
Want to see life  
**_

She hated teaching this class. They were the loudest and the rudest. She didn't make a point of expressing her feelings in her classes; she simply smiled and remained polite and helpful. This was the reason why, she thought, all the male teachers in the school seemed to be taken with her on some level.

'Even the students_…' _She thought to herself, taking a short pause from her lecture to scan the room. She noticed him, there at the front. He must make a point of sitting there every lesson. He was sitting alone, as always. He looked exhausted.

He met her eyes briefly before she returned back to the blackboard. His brief look had been enough to make have to take a deep breath before continuing, everytime he did that she seemed to be unable to breath… or think… or speak…

She dropped the chalk. It was a silly mistake, but nothing too terrible.

She turned around, bent over and picked it up.

"Oh hell yes, I'd hit that for sure." Said a voice.

Before she even had time to process the comment, before she even had time to turn around; there was a crashing sound, followed by gasps.

She turned around to see the student who she guessed had made the comment, laying on the floor, holding a bleeding nose.

He was standing over him; dark bags under his eyes, disquist in his expression and venom in his tone; "Apologize."

A trip to the Principle's office followed for him, she had taken him there.

She waited outside until the door opened. He stepped out, looking as though he cared very little about anything besides sleep at the moment. But this changed as he looked up at her. She knew then that he cared about something else… and evidently he cared for it very dearly.

All she could do was sigh as he made his way up to her. She eyed him, not with disquist or dissapointed, but in hoplesness, confusion.

"Why…" She began… she knew what she was going to say… she was going to ask him why he hit the other student over something so childish, something so… dumb. But the words didn't come… they never came. She simply held her head down, motioned outside and he followed.

She drove him home again that day.

_**Driving in your car  
Oh, please dont drop me home  
Bec**__**ause its not my home, its their**_

_**Home, and Im welcome no more  
**_

They hadn't said anything. He simply stared out of the window, looking exhausted.

She wondered why he always looked tired, she wondered if he even went home every night. These thoughts depressed her; she didn't like the idea of him sleeping outside, alone.

"Do you have a husband?"

She gasped. She had been watching the road the entire time, and hadn't expected him to speak at all. He had leaned his head over to her and was far too close for comfort, she could feel his breath on her skin and hear him pefectly, though his tone was almost a whisper.

"I'm sorry…" He said, quietly.

"No it's… it's ok." She said, still trying to recover. "I don't, I live alone, I'm divorced…"

She looked over towards him, and for the first time since she had known him, she was able to read his face, able to guess what he was feeling. He had a look of relief on this face, along with the smallest of smirks.

"And is that a good thing, or…?" She asked, daring him to give an honest answer. She realized she didn't need to sound so cold. She knew of his intentions, and he knew that she knew…

"It's good to know I can drop by whenever I feel like it" He said, still smirking…

"Just kidding." _**  
**_

_**And if a double-decker bus  
Crashes into us  
To die by your side  
Is such a heavenly way to die**_

_**And if a ten-ton truck  
Kills the both of us  
To die by your side  
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine  
**_

_**Take me out tonight  
Take me anywhere, I dont care  
I dont care, I dont care  
And in the darkened underpass  
I thought oh god, my chance has come at last  
(but then a strange fear gripped me and i  
Just couldnt ask)**_

"So… we're here…" She said, looking out over the same street he had directed her to when she had last driven him home. She was glad on some level that it was over, the tention was killing her. But… she felt bad about leaving him somewhere he didn't want to be, she felt guilty.

"Yeah…" He said, but didn't move.

Before she could speak, before she could ask why or even open her mouth, he had extrended his hand to rest on hers… she didn't move, she couldn't…. or at least… she didn't. He held it there, looking at his lap, occasionally glancing in her direction.

"Where would we go?" She asked him. She knew what he wanted. He didn't want to be left alone, but there was nothing she could do for him, nothing she could help him with.

"Anywhere…" He said. She could hear the desperation in his voice, it sounded as though he would almost cry.

"I don't care where we go… as long as it isn't here, and you're with me." He said, now sounding more calm, collected, but still his voice quivered.

She simply nodded, started the engine and drove off, away from his house, away from the place he didn't want to ever return to.

_**  
And in the darkened underpass  
I thought oh god, my chance has come at last  
(but then a strange fear gripped me and i  
Just couldnt ask)**_

She had driven to the park. It was dark and cold now, but there were no other people there. She led him towards a bench, and motioned for him to sit, he did so.

They sat there for a while, just looking at the sky, the nature… sometimes eachother.

He then removed the light, black jacket he was wearing and hung it over her shoulders. She smiled her thanks, and saw in the corner of her eye that he was doing his best to contain his shivers. She smiled at this, blushing.

She realized it before she thought it possible.

Was she beginning to fall for him…? After only a few days…

No, she couldn't. She was just being kind, he didn't want to go home, so she took him out here… briefly, they would go back soon enough, and he would be forced to go home.

But… she concidered him…

He wasn't rushing her, not at all… He wasn't forcing her to do anything, this made her feel a little more comfortable around him, a little more relaxed.

Maybe… he could stay with her for a while… just until he figures out what he wants to do… until he figures out what his options are.

_He felt her blush… this was a good sign… she was warming up to him. He couldn't help but smile a little as he continued to stare down at his lap. _

"_So…" She said, she always seemed to be the one who would speak, he didn't think much of talking, maybe to her… but not to anyone else… _

"_Maybe… maybe we should go to my house… and… you can… stay there for a while, until you figure things out…" _

_No words or emotions com__pared to how he felt when he heard her say those words. _

"_Yeah… I'd like that…" he said, smiling now._

_He wanted to say more, to thank her, to tell her more, to kiss her… but he couldn't. He kept his composure, stood up, held his hand out to help her up, and made his way back to the car, still smiling. _

_**Take me out tonight  
Oh, take me anywhere, I dont care  
I dont care, I dont care  
Driving in your car  
I never never want to go home  
Because I havent got one, da ...  
Oh, I havent got one  
**_

_**  
**_They chatted a little as she drove towards her house. She was beginning to feel more comfortable around him… it was frightening.

They arrived at her house. She parked the car and got out, leading him towards her house. She noticed something, the lights in her house were on. She always turns them off when she leaves the house… the door opened before they got to it… a man stood there, a man she knew, a man she thought would never return.

"Tifa…" He said. She couldn't believe it… he had come back, he was back…

Before she could say anything, he had covered the distance between them and kissed her, she was still in a daze, unbelieving, confused…

"Who's this…?" He asked, staring at him apprehensively. He obviously thought she had replaced her husband with a younger guy… much, younger.

"He's…" She managed to get out. She looked at him, he was staring at him as he held her, looking as though he was ready to kill… but she saw something else there, he was hurt, angry.

"You told me you were divorced…" he said, quietly, slowly, clearly.

"Isn't official yet… and I don't want her to, not anymore…." The man said, now holding Tifa close. "And what's it to you anyways, kiddo?" He then looked at Tifa again, still sounding a little worried.

"Who is he, Teef?" He asked again, now sounding serious.

…

"He's no one… just…"

'_just_….'

'_just_….'

'_just_….'

"Just some student…"

_The feeling he had felt at that moment would be one carried with him for the remainder of his life on earth. A feeling of rejection, anger, sadness, pain, love… However happy he had been before… it didn't matter now. _

_He turned__ his back on them, lashing out at nothing. _

_Then he was off. Off running towards where he didn't know. He ran onto the street, feeling sad, depressed, used, cheated… but mostly… he felt angry. _

_He ran and ran until he could no longer make out his surroundings with his blurry vision, until he could no longer stand straight without his knees buckling, until he couldn't think of her without breaking down onto the cold, stone pavement. All he could hear was his panting. And unwelcoming sound of weakness. He then closed his eyes, and kept them shut._

_**And if a double-decker bus  
Crashes into us  
To die by your side  
Is such a heavenly way to die  
And if a ten-ton truck  
Kills the both of us  
To die by your side  
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine  
**_

Champagne to celibrate he had said… and of course she was the one to go out and get it, the same things that had led towards their divorce…

She sighed as she stood at the cash register, looking around, not feeling happy as she should be… not feeling relieved or relaxed…

She couldn't get the image of him, looking so hurt, so confused, so sad out of her mind. She realized what this had led to only after it had happened. She had let some silly teenager walk right into her life and effectively freak her out. He had come when she had been most lonely, most vulnerable… it was his fault… all his.

But she didn't feel mad, and she didn't want to make herself feel mad either… She couldn't stand it any longer. As soon as she had packed the bottles into the nearest plastic bag she was out of the store and out into the fresh, open air.

Then there was him.

_**Oh, there is a light and it never goes out  
**_

She saw him, sitting at a bus stop across the street, his head leaned to the side, looking angry… broken. He lifted his head to see her standing there… and for the first time since she had met him… since she had met this… this amazing person, she didn't feel uncomfortable to have his eyes on her… to know that he was watching her… she felt better, in fact… she felt safe.

_**Take me out… tonight, take me anywhere,**_

_**I don't care, I don't care, I don't care…**_

She dropped her bags. She dropped the weight that had held her down for all this time.

_**And if a double-decker bus  
**__**Crashes into us**_

He saw her. He saw her as he never had seen her before. He saw her walking briskly towards him, pushing passed people, not caring to excuse herself. He saw her wanting the same thing he had wanted all this time.

_**To die by your side  
Is such a heavenly way to die**_

Her locked gaze, her sudden realization was then interupted. She saw in slow-motion as one minute he was gazing back at her, that same caring and love in his face that had become to familiar to her over the past few days, and the other minute he was rushing towards the street, not towards her, but towards… something else.

_**And if a ten-ton truck  
Kills the both of us  
**_

A girl, standing alone in the middle of a pedestrians crossing looking mortified, had evidently not made it to the other side in time. Cars were racing passed her as she looked around, crying, screaming, yelling. People all around were beginning to notice, motioning for the cars to stop, or for someone to do something.

What she saw next was beyond belief.

_**To die by your side  
Well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine  
**_

A white semi, trying it's best to avoid all of the chaos, was now headed straight for the girl, unable to change it's course in time…

But then, as so many times before, there was him.

The slamming of breaks, the gasping of people, the crashing of cars… and the realization that things may never be the same as they were before…

_**There is a light and it never goes out  
**_

She was there within seconds, not thinking… she felt sad, worried, sorry… she would never be able to tell him how sorry she was…

_**There is a light and it never goes out  
**_

She was on the street. People were beginning to flood towards the crying, but otherwise fine girl. She saw a man holding a cell phone, probably calling an ambulance.

_**There **__**is a light and it never goes out**_

"He's hurt pretty bad! Someone call an ambulance!"

_**There is a light and it never goes out**_

She searched for the source of the yell… and then she saw it. The car, now toppled on it's side, was surrounded by half a dozen people, all standing over something… someone… _**  
**_

_**There is a light and it never goes out  
**_

"CLOUD!"

It was all she could say… all the things she hadn't said, all the things she should've said… everything that she would have done differently…

_**There is a light and it never goes out  
**_

She was kneeled at his side, cradling his head in her hands, crying. His eyes were open, but only slightly. He looked into her eyes, and she looked into his.

"Tifa… I…"

But she shushed him, he didn't have to speak. She knew…. She had always known.

_**There is a light and it never goes out  
**_

"Cloud… I'm sorry… sorry for everything…" She sobbed, trying to control her hysteria as she looked around for the sign of an ambulance, she heard him whisper, trying to speak.

_**There is a light and it never goes out**_

"Tifa…" He said… quietly, slowly, calmly.

"Cloud…" She said… loudly, quickly, worriedly.

She looked into his eyes, feeling for the first time that maybe… just maybe… even though everything was so screwed up, such as mess… that maybe everything will be all right…

"I never… never blaimed you for any of it" He said…

"I know… I know… just shush… it'll all be all right…" She said… she tried to find the right words…

_**Take me anywhere, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care**_

"I promise, Cloud… it'll all be all right."

_**Take me out tonight, because I want to see people…**_

And he believed her.

_**And I want to see life… **_

The years crawled by. She preferred it that way.

Cloud had lost the ability to walk, and couldn't do too much on his own anymore, but he was fine with that… And so was she.

_**Oh, take me anywhere… I don't care, I don't care, I don't care.. **_

Because she would spend every waking minute with him regardless.

_**There is a light and it never goes out **_


End file.
